


I Don't Want to Say Goodbye

by HollowHearted



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, told backward, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 19:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowHearted/pseuds/HollowHearted
Summary: Would it really have killed me to watch that episode of Doctor Who again?





	I Don't Want to Say Goodbye

The nightmares never left. They never left, and I was forced to whimper and thrash my way through each night until Liam came along.  
“Shh,” he soothed, tenderly brushing hair out of my eyes. “I’m here, baby. It’s okay.” “Liam,” I whispered, touching his cheek. He smiled.  
“Your Liam.”  
I sat bolt upright, panting. Alone in the darkness of what used to be our room. It had felt so real. His scent still lingered in the sheets. My eyes filled with tears as the inevitable guilt and overwhelming agony overcame me.  
I stared at the engagement ring I still wore.  
_Liam._  


   

It was raining, which made it even more painfully sad. He’d loved the rain. I fought back tears as I lay the roses down. I wiped my eyes, taking a shaky breath. Scott and the others had already left.  
“I don’t want to say goodbye,” I said, voice cracking, and the tears started pouring down my cheeks. I looked up at the sky for a second, trying not to cry harder. “It was supposed to be tomorrow.” I sobbed. “We even had the tuxes rented already.”  
I leaned against the stone, heart shattering into a thousand million shards.  


   

I writhed and growled, but their grips on my arms were too tight. I roared at them, only to be kicked in the back of the knee and forced to the ground.  
“I’m coming!” Liam yelled, knocking the hunter attacking him out cold. “Hold on!”  
Then a fourth hunter came out of nowhere. I saw the gun rise in slow motion.  
“Liam!” I screamed, but it was too late. The gunshot was deafening, and Liam’s surprised blue eyes locked on mine for a split second before the life left them and he crumpled to the ground.  
I roared again, pulling free from one hunter and snapping the other’s neck. I killed all four of them. But it didn’t bring him back.  
I held him in my arms, pleading with everything I was.  
“Liam, please,” I sobbed. “Wake up. Please.”  


   

He laughed, beautiful blue eyes crinkling. “You are such a dork.”  
“But you love me.”  
He rolled his eyes. “Well, duh. C’mere, you.”  
He kissed me, arms wrapping around my neck. He gave me that goofy excuse for a smile and let his forehead rest against mine. I smiled back and pulled him closer. He sighed contentedly.  
“Seriously, that was the worst proposal ever,” he said softly.  
“But you said yes.”  
“Yes, I did.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “So, how about you take your new fiancé out for ice cream?”  
I laughed. “It’s midnight.”  
“So?”  


   

“So, how was that for a first date?” I asked anxiously.  
“Absolutely terrible.” He gave me a look. My heart sank. He laughed, “Oh my God, I’m kidding, Theo. Don’t cry.”  
“I’m not crying,” I scoffed.  
“You were about to.” He stepped up into my personal space and lay his hands on my shoulders. “That was the perfect first date. Well, except for one thing.”  
“What’s that?”  
“You still haven’t kissed me.” He gave me his best puppy face. How could anyone say no to those big blue eyes?  
I rolled my eyes. “How could I forget?”  
I kissed him, softly. Just enjoying the intimate moment between us. How had I ended up with the most perfect person on the planet?    

   

“I swear to God, Theo, if I have to save your ass one more time!”  
I raised my eyebrows. “What? What will you do?”  
He floundered. “I _will not_ save you the next time. I will stand there with my arms crossed and say, ‘I told you so.’ and you will die. You can beg me for help all you want, it won’t change my mind.”  
“What if I said pretty please?”  
“Pr- _what_? _Pretty please_?!” He gave me that look again. “Do four year old girls even say that anymore?”  
I shrugged. “It was just an idea. Would you?”  
“No! I wouldn’t!”  
“So if that hunter over there actually does pull the trigger you won’t do anything to save me?” He shoved me to the ground, covering my body with his. I laughed. “Gotcha!”  
He gave me that adorable little angry face, glancing across the street and back to me. “Oh. My. God. I am never talking to you again.”  
“Why?” I whined.  
“You just--urgh! I thought there was a hunter!”  
“So? We’ve taken plenty of them.”  
He glared even harder. “I thought he was going to shoot you.”  
“So? I’ve taken plenty of bullets.”  
“Agh! Theo!” He raked his hands through his hair.  
“What?!”  
“Don’t you get it?” he yelled.  
I frowned. “Get what?”  
He covered my lips with his, both hands on my cheeks. I inhaled sharply. He pulled back, eyes wide.  
“I…” he started, gaze flickering to my lips again.  
“Please say you meant that,” I begged. He nodded, nervously. I grinned so wide it hurt. “Thank God-I-Don’t-Believe-In.”  
He huffed a laugh. “Why you, I’ll never know.”  


   

Liam was the cutest thing ever. Really. I was going to be pining after him my entire life, wasn’t I?  
“Theo?” he asked, startling me.  
“Yeah?”  
“I never properly thanked you. For saving me at the hospital. Both times.” He looked at the ground. “So, uh. Thanks.”  
I smiled uncertainly. This was the first time anyone had thanked me for anything since I came back out of the ground.  
“You’re welcome,” I said. “Thanks for saving me back.”  
“But it’s more than just those two times,” he blurted out. “You kept from killing Nolan and Gabe, and…I think that kind of saving is even more important than just keeping someone from dying.”  
I blinked, heart thumping a funny rhythm. “Like I said, you’re welcome.”  
“And I just want you to know, I know you’re different now. I…I trust you.”  
My eyes widened. I almost thought I felt tears pricking the back of them. “You do?” I asked in much too small a voice.  
He nodded. “Yeah.”  
I tried to fight the grin. He trusted me. I couldn’t help hugging him, much too tight.  
“Thank you,” I whispered.  
“Um. Yeah. Not at all,” he said, awkwardly patting my back.  


   

Liam was storming angrily along the sidewalk. I struggled to keep up.  
“Look, I’m sorry. If I hadn’t knocked you out, you would’ve killed him. And I know you wouldn’t have wanted that.”  
“Sometimes I wish I’d never let you out of the ground,” he growled.  
I stopped, deciding now was as good a time as any to ask. “Why did you?”  
He stopped, too, and frowned at me. “Because we needed your help with the Ghost Riders.”  
I shook my head. “Your heart always skips a beat when you say that.”  
He raked his hands through his hair. “Fine. You want the truth?” I nodded. “Sticking you in the ground wasn’t good enough. Making you redeem yourself was a better idea.”  
“Have I?” I asked quietly.  
He frowned, as if he didn’t want to say. But he did.  
“Almost.”  
Almost was a beautiful word. It meant progress and achievement, and being so close to fulfilling your goals. I smiled at the ground. Almost.  


   

I should’ve known Liam wouldn’t go through with it. I almost scoffed. He was too pure. But then I felt suddenly sad. I didn’t have anyone that loyal, let alone anyone. Maybe, if I had him, I could be a good person. Maybe I wouldn’t need to kill anyone. Maybe I could just be happy.  
I scoffed at myself. You are what the Dread Doctors made you. What you made yourself. One little beta too loyal to kill his own alpha, even out of overwhelming rage, wouldn’t change that.  


   

I knelt beside the headstone, ‘Liam Dunbar 1999-2018’ and shook my head.  
“It doesn’t do you justice, you know. You’re so much more than a name and date.” I lay my roses down, taking away the old ones. I tried to laugh. “I don’t know why I get these. You hate red roses. I never did ask your favorite flower, though.” I sat in silence for a moment.  
“I wish I’d been stronger,” I confessed. “I wish I’d never asked you on that hike. I keep thinking, ‘Would it really have killed me to watch that episode of Doctor Who like he wanted to do instead?’”  
The tears started stinging my eyes. “Scott keeps saying you’re still here, but I just don’t know, sweetheart. I’ve never believed in God, you know I haven’t. But if there is one, I hope you’re safe with Him. I hope you’re happy. I hope you remember me and you know I still love you.”  
I wiped my eyes. “You’d probably tell me to shut up if you were still here. Can’t say I’d blame you. The old me would’ve killed himself before he said any of that.” I sighed. “But I’m not him anymore. Thanks to you. You…you were the best boyfriend, the best fiance, the best friend I ever could’ve imagined. I owe you so much more than a weekly visit and some flowers. I’m so sorry.”  
I traced over the letters of his name with my fingertips. “Did I ever tell you how much I loved your name? We never talked about it, but when the time came I was going to be Theo Dunbar. I can’t believe we never talked about that. We had everything else planned out. You wouldn’t’ve minded me taking your name, would you? I don’t think you would’ve wanted to hyphenate. Dunbar-Raeken. That sounds like a law firm.” I tried to laugh again, but it just hurt too much.  
“I love you. I don’t…I don’t think there will ever be anyone else. No matter what Scott says. You were The One.”  
I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder, but there was no one there when I looked. I could still feel the pressure, though. I covered the spot with my own hand and took a deep breath. The tightness in my chest eased and I felt a little lighter inside.  
“I’m glad you’re still here,” I whispered.  



End file.
